behave, behave

going back to the days when i dont know my HIV status yet, i was shopping for my next boyfriend as i can feel, after 2 months of the break up with my sire (the one who infected me, using vampire language). im ready for my next relationship (i.e. horny season is coming up)

quite frankly, they're a lot to choose from, from the malls called downelink, gayromeo, facebook and yes, the condominium unit where im living.

so day in and day out my inbox is full of flirtatious messages, both in celphone and in my internet accounts, of course im very picky, carefully setting a date with each one, whoever says "go to my/your/private place after" is completely eliminated.

then of course, as it turns out, they need to be more cautious to me, and not me to them, because, lo and behold, im a poz (bilis ng karma no? arte kasi eh!)

so when i found out, i became less responsive to their flirtations, canceled all the meet ups, eventually, they all vanished.

except for 2.

well, the 2nd one, which i think is winning the game had i not known my status, doesnt know my status yet, but he never stopped, til now, in "courting" me.

now, the other one, which i'll call B, is a complete sweetie one.

when im coming into terms about my HIV status, he keeps on calling asking how i am, he can feel im not doing great, so yeah, i told him.

and guess what - he didnt stopped pursuing me.

in fact he went on trying to pursue me more.

i appreciate the gesture, but i feel there is something wrong about it.

it's like, what i feel is that, he likes my being a poz because he knows im not free enough to play around, like he can control my actions, and that's what i dont like. and that i think he's also desperate,

but then again, as he claims, he has two friends who are a poz. .. i checked around, one poz guy that i knew is acommon friend, hmmmmm...

but then again

he's being too attached now, he's callin, textin, and im just tired, i dont even like him now, as its no longer sweet. and did i say, im not ready yet? yeah i did.

now i can predict something,

HIV wouldnt cause complications on my health well-being, really, but more on my romantic well-being.