the official count of the count.

Today, I will know my CD4 count.

the weight of the matter didnt really weigh on me soon as I woke up as Im more worried about the most important thing for me - the fecalysis.

But it turns out to that my efforts of overeating proved to be worth it. I left the house around 6:30am... yeah that's how early I was. excited? maybe, more like anxious I think.

I arrived in R.I.T.M. around 7:20 or so, I knew this as I kept on checking the time every minute As I worry about the expiry of my specimens, and guess what, it's like a ghost town! a slight panic came over me, what will I do now?, I asked myself, thinking Quickly, I went straight to the laboratory, on the way I saw the pharmacy and it's empty, I made a silent prayer that the laboratory is open. it was, so I submitted my samples and Im done with it. next step is to have my PPD reading checked and, ehem, know my CD4 count.

my PPD reading is scheduled at 10am. it's 7:30 in the morning, without anything to do, I went to what they call "the posh lounge". I dont know If I can stay there for a while, but I tried, Nurse S was there, invited me in and told me to wait.

the posh lounge area is so cozy, I almost fell asleep, a pozzie came in exclaiming about his court case, I tried to listen but still I cant get much details, later on Nurse S asked my code, and told me when to go to the clinic for my results. a few minutes of more complaints from the pozzie I was told to go to the clinic. I nodded and went there.

As I was walking I can feel my heart beat fast. this is the most crucial point in my HIV life, the make or break, I feel like a American Idol contestant whose destiny lies with the right song, mine lies with my baseline results - well, almost.

time is definitely not on my side as soon as I got in the clinic, Nurse S is attending to a newbie who seems to be in denial about his condition (wow, a newborn pozzie at 8:00 in the morning, cool). he's of working age, apparently about to be employed as he is more concerned about his medical exam than in his baseline, and sounded like me asking if it will show on the medical exam results.

9:00 was nearing and I want to punch this guy and throw him to the different labs! you have H.I.V., for crying out loud, no matter what you say, it cant change a thing!! now get over it and let me have my results!!! - is the thought that's running on my mind. excuse, I know the feeling, but when I found out I am a Poz, I didnt try to convince the doctors nor the papers otherwise.

later on he gave up and had a few baseline done, with nurse S trying to convince him how important it is for him to come back and finish the rest of the baseline tests.

when he left I sat immediately in front of her table and she obliged, retrieved my files, joked about my code name, then, she opened the folder, got the papers and placed it on top of her test.. I was about to take a peek on my CD4 count as I can almost see it when.... she covered it with my PPD prescription and smiled in front of me, Nurse S knew I was trying to peek and she wont let me. she just smiled and laughed.

like, aaaaargh!!!! it's my CD4! cut the crop already...

she asked for my PPD, I showed her my arm,

tsk tsk, then she whispered... positive...

what?!?!?!?!? what would this mean...


Iho, naawa ako sayo (son, I pity you)....


Picture the earth opening up and swallowing me whole (no pun intended).

she told me to wait for doctor barbie doll, a few minutes later, Dr. barbie doll came in, apparently looking tired, maybe she ran all the way here when she realized she's tardy, oh well.

Nurse S gave her the results, she was about to read it to me when her phone rang, she needs to register to some lecture event or so, and told me she'll be gone for 10 minutes max.

oh god, noooooooooooooooo!

so 10 minutes later, she came back.

so here's the run down.

urine : normal

RPR: non - reactive (no STD's or STI's)

X:ray : Normal

tuberculosis : exposed, but negative, told me that this happens naturally. I need, Need to buy medical mask!

CD3: 2688.

now CD4: it's.....




oh well... 4







joke! it's 462.

yeah, it's not exactly what I hoped (600-700-1000) but it is good. I wasnt advised to take ARV medication yet, nor was I advised to take VCO as well, as what Dr. Barbie doll told me, the less medical intake, the better. multivitamins and vitamin C is good enough, backed with a healthy lifestyle.


I can improve my count, I know I can, I just need to sleep more, and exercise too. the important thing is to not have the meds yet, it's a lifetime commitment im not ready to have yet.

I decided to stay for a while, I met JN, who's count is 12, still looks a bit depressed, but he seems to be happy with it... I also met JS, he seems to be, eh, aloof, I tried to make friends with him as nurse S cant find his files, and might redo his tests cause of it, which is too bad, JS has a 130 count and is under medications already, with his files lost, I tried to cheer him up, but all of my friendly charm didnt work, must be my child-like self that turned him off, a met a newbie too, Princess Diana, whose transsexual beauty turns Grandma green with envy. s/he just got her/his reading too, it's 411. almost as good as mine.

I am too happy with my results I asked to have my chart photocopied, to the surprise of most of them, why? I want to keep track about my status, what's wrong with keeping a file? off I went to the lounge to have it photocopied when I met elmo.

elmo seems to be in a slight bad mood as they wont accept his phlegm sample, so he needs to come back again tomorrow with a new one, he too, looked surprised when I had my papers photocopied, he wasnt able to know his CD4 as the laboratory hadn't released it yet.

I stayed in the clinic for a while when hunger stepped in, I decided to leave as I dont like the food in the canteen. The multicab dropped me at starmall and there I went straight to Mcdonalds for a cheeseburger meal to go, got in the bus and ate it there.

now this is one of the provincial buses in which the seats are way high that even if your tall your feet would be elevated. so imagine me, my feet swinging, eating a cheeseburger on one hand, while holding a coke on the other, with a bubbly face as Im way too happy - yeah, I looked like a kid. a grown up version of a baby.

I stopped at SM megamall, this calls for a celebration, I bought two new original instrumentals for me to sing on, and ate at Mcdonalds again... why, I got hungry. blame it on the fasting. (meal: chicken spaghetti, two extra rice, two orange juice and a double cheeseburger meal, yeah, im dead hungry!)


462. my goal is for it go higher without medications. or at least maintain it. No ARVs for me for a long, long time. that's the main priority goal.



n.b.

doctor Barbie doll told me though it's not advisable for me to take VCO, I can drink and eat coconut anyway, it's more advisable as it's more fresh than VCO.


now that I know my count, I will definitely have lesser worries.

Now I just need a healthier lifestyle, which means, a new sport.

Im guessing Muay thai, imagine all the pain it will give for my pleasure plus it's health benefits, being all bruised up wont decrease my count, aight?