Birthday! Birthday!

few days ago, I celebrated my Birthday, yeap people, Im no longer 23, I just recently turned 24, best time to change my blog name then... or maybe not.

So it was the eve of my birthday and I'm stuck in agony as to how I will celebrate it, all week long, people I knew, and those who just found out my birthday is nearing, they all asked me the same thing : where's the celebration?

eh, no celebration at all, A greeting will do. Is all I wanna say, yeah, talk about being a old fashioned guy.

okay, so im done with the hazardous birthday parties my mom always organized (9th birthday - little mermaid theme, I know, I know, it's a complete underwater nightmare, but hey, I was 9!) and I almost forgot how to host a party, I mean, a simple get together would be nice, but...

see, I want to be alone, as after a long while, it's my first birthday without a lover, oh well, I don't know if i could count last year, because last year, 3 days before the eve of my birthday, I met J, we dated on my birthday, a week after we're a couple, so technically, I wasn't single as I was seeing someone then...

now, Im not seeing anyone... hmmm... but im texting and calling someone, now i dont know what will happen next, Im not madam auring to make a false assumption on the things about to happen, Im just enjoying the company. there's a difference.

Again I dont party much, so all i can think about is to just treat my friends. anyway, so i was alone in the condominium restaurant when Greenfrog invited me for a group get together. of course I said yes, we will meet by 8:00, it was around 6:30pm. I thought to myself that I'll leave by 7 or so.

but lo and behold, when I got back to my unit my mom wanted to talk about my birthday and her day. I escaped her wrath around 8 quarter, Got in the cab, got stuck in traffic, asked the cab driver to just drop me off at the nearest MRT station, I arrived an hour late, wow, a complete diva!

So it was a nice get together, Calves, Greenfrog, Mama B.I.T.C.H. are there, Greenfrog told me that Eldest will come soon. hmmm... now see, I think Eldest and I didnt get too well the last time we met, blame it on my twisted humor about my bitterness, I was tactless then, and I wanted to make up for it. So with me and my paranoid mind seeing an iceberg between us, I told him right there and then That I want to break the ice. he seems uncomfortable with it, who wouldn't be?

so we're hanging out in the gardens, too many young growing hormones roaming the area and we started making fun about it, told calves to model it up as he has the proper physique for it, Met a co-actor who is also celebrating his birthday, talked for a while, it made me wonder, so if he's hanging around with those kids, then that must mean he is a... kid? lol.

Midnight came in and Greenfrog announced that Im officially 24, coincidentally I was eating a chocolate cake, I pretended there's a candle there and blew it. Greenfrog started singing different versions of the happy birthday song and all.

then Calves got a phone call and was invited to-a-certain-bar, Eldest wanted to go to-a-certain-bar, Greenfrog was tempted, almost said No, Mama B.I.T.C.H. said he wont come with us, I was weighing the pro's and con's.

PRO'S

1: Im curious what it's like.

2: I could break the ice with eldest there.

CON'S

1: my CD4 count, I shouldnt be lax about it, I need my sleep.

2: I dont drink alcohol, and I might be out of place.


when Greenfrog decided to come, I decided to join in as well.

so on we went to -a-certain-bar, I was just on the stairs and I can sense how loud the music is, it's like being seated beside the speakers of the concert of Regine Velasquez and she's belting one ultra high note to another, it will definitely bleed your ears.

Eldest went inside and being a complete party-goer knew almost everyone, Calves being invited suddenly disappeared and was later caught with his friends. Greenfrog hopped the alcohols,

with Me being the outside looking in resorted to what I can do: Dance.

And I mean, dance like those in the music videos of Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Billie Piper and Britney Spears, A complete dancing with 90's steps only appreciated by the camera lenses, and completely inappropriate to the venue, what? why? it didn't help that we are situated in a corner where I can see my shadow, with my being narcissistic, I'm totally in love with my shadow!

so my dancing became almost like a Cardio Exercise, I rested for a while. Eldest looked happy with me enjoying, the Ice is broken, Greenfrog Applaud my gesture with patching things up with eldest, they both offered me a drink but i politely said no.

I was just sitting and relaxing my muscles as to not overuse my CD4, when Greenfrog whispered a warning to me "this is not the perfect place to look for love".

he exactly knew what was on my mind.

I was sitting and contemplating on the things I wanna do soon as I graduate, This is one of the things I wanna do, it satisfied my curiosity, but I'm still stuck with my mid-innocent mind that everything is about love, soon as he said that, I looked around, and I really didn't feel love round the place, all I can see is lust. though it's fun, to me it feels like something is lacking.

there are a few people there who are not dancing and not making out, they're just sitting, I don't know if they're sitting because , like me they're tired from dancing, or because they can see what I also see.

But I am having fun, I didn't entertain such thought as I don't want to spoil the evening, we called it a night later on, got home and I hopped in my bed and slept.

I woke up with his messages greeting me, later on we talked about my experience at-the-certain-bar, he told me to loosen up, validated what Greenfrog told me, and told me what I thought was wrong, people there are all just for the fun. for the kicks. no need for me to think too deeply about it.

definitely, what he said is true, I need to loosen up. I enjoyed the night, and that's all that mattered, as the day of my birthday went on, there are many people, lots of them, who made me feel loved, so what If I went to a place where precious love almost became nonexistent? all that matters is, I realized that I'm not alone, and I have real love with me, and I can learn how to loosen up.

A happy birthday Indeed.